Why Lying Is Bad for You
The Truth hurts, Literally
Due to the nature of my work as somewhat of a roadside phone repairer, I interact on average with over 40 people every day. Most of these interactions are surface-level, regular types of talks. However, every now and then, I stumble upon moments where I catch someone in a lie — big or small. It could be a customer claiming their phone “just stopped working” when I can clearly see water damage, or someone pretending they didn’t drop their phone after I point out the cracks, or a returning customer straight up gaslighting me to get charged less for a repair. These little moments got me thinking: why do we lie, and what does it actually do to us?
So I got to work and did some digging into this phenomenon. As it turns out, lying is more than just a social faux pas — it’s a full-blown attack on your mental, physical, and social well-being.
But first,
Why Do We Lie?
People lie for all sorts of reasons. In the case of my customers, their lies are probably to avoid the embarrassment of admitting fault or to dodge the possible cost of their mistakes. But ironically, these lies only deter me from helping them solve their phone issues effectively.
People also lie to protect themselves or others from harm, to maintain privacy, or to gain an advantage in social or professional settings. Someone might exaggerate their achievements to appear more competent at work or tell a white lie to avoid hurting a friend’s feelings. Most times, it’s just a matter of convenience — the truth often feels too messy or uncomfortable to confront.
So,
What Does Lying Do To Us?
Lying takes a toll on three key areas of our lives: the brain, the body, and our relationships.
The Brain
Picture this: your brain is like a computer. When you lie, it’s running multiple demanding applications at once — tracking the truth, constructing the lie, and monitoring the reactions of others to keep your story straight. This mental multitasking creates a strain known as cognitive load.
But here’s where it gets even more fascinating: the more you lie, the easier it becomes. Research from a study published in Nature Neuroscience explains how repeated dishonesty desensitizes your brain. Specifically, the amygdala — the part responsible for emotional responses like guilt or fear — becomes less reactive with each lie. In other words, lying dulls your conscience. At first, your brain might sound the alarm with a pang of guilt, but as the lies stack up, the alarm fades into white noise. Before you know it, dishonesty becomes second nature.
This “slippery slope” of lying changes your brain. Chronic liars risk rewiring their neural pathways, making dishonesty a default behavior. Over time, this disconnect between action and emotion can lead to greater stress, anxiety, and even mental health challenges, as your brain struggles to reconcile the web of lies with your internal moral compass.
The Body
It might sound far-fetched, but what you say has a direct impact on your physiological makeup. When you lie, your body perceives it as a stressful event. This stress triggers the release of cortisol, the hormone responsible for the “fight or flight” response. Initially, this might manifest as a quickened heartbeat or sweaty palms. But when lying becomes a habit, your body remains in this heightened state of alertness.
A study published in Current Opinion in Psychology explains how dishonesty puts the body under sustained stress, especially when lies are chronic or complex. The stress from lying is more than a fleeting moment of discomfort; it can linger and escalate, contributing to headaches, insomnia, and even weakened immunity. Over time, this wear and tear can increase your risk for serious health problems like cardiovascular disease.
And your body doesn’t even distinguish between big lies and little ones. Even small fabrications can set off this cascade, especially when compounded over time. Chronic liars may find themselves stuck in a loop where the stress of lying leads to physical symptoms, which then amplify the stress, creating a vicious cycle.
So, while lying might seem like a quick way out of a tricky situation, it’s a shortcut that your body pays for in the long run. Every lie chips away at your physical well-being, one fib at a time.
The Relationships
Lying doesn’t just harm your brain and body — it can also destroy the very foundation of your relationships: trust.
Think about it. Trust is like the glue holding any meaningful connection together, whether it’s a friendship, partnership, or family bond. When you lie, you weaken that bond. Over time, even small lies can accumulate like cracks in a glass screen, leaving relationships fragile and prone to shattering.
Take marriage as an example. Imagine a partner consistently lying about finances or small indiscretions, thinking, “It’s no big deal; they’ll never know.” But the truth has a way of surfacing, and when it does, it’s like a tidal wave of betrayal. Studies show that deceit in relationships, even when it seems harmless, often leads to mistrust, emotional distance, and, in many cases, separation or divorce. Once trust is broken, rebuilding it is an uphill battle — one that not all relationships survive.
But the damage doesn’t stop at romantic partnerships. Chronic lying isolates you from everyone around you. When people suspect you’re not truthful, they stop confiding in you, and your credibility takes a hit. This leaves you trapped in a lonely cocoon of your own making. And as the lies pile up, you may find yourself avoiding meaningful interactions altogether, fearing exposure.
Ultimately, relationships thrive on authenticity and mutual respect. Honesty, even when uncomfortable, strengthens those bonds and fosters genuine connection. It may be tempting to sugarcoat the truth or dodge accountability, but in the long run, it’s far more rewarding to be someone others can rely on and trust wholeheartedly.
Put in mind: a little discomfort now can save you a world of trouble later. And who knows? You might just find that honesty really is the best policy after all.
I once met a chronic liar who for every four words that came out of his mouth, only half a word was the truth.